A few weeks ago I was presenting at an event and somebody asked “How do you keep motivated after 10 years of doing this dietary stuff?” and I answered because I have no choice. All it takes is a glimpse of what a shambles my life was back before I changed Tim’s diet and it’s enough to drag my sorry butt off the couch and into the kitchen. It’s not always easy though. And I don’t always do it with a glad heart.
Yesterday was a good example. It was a sunny, lazy Sunday afternoon. The kids were both out and the latest Jodi Picoult book lay half finished on the table, calling my name. I would have given anything to just sit on the deck, listening to the birds and losing myself in the book. But I couldn’t. Because I was staring down the barrel of 5 days of lunchboxes that needed to be filled with wholesome, nutritious food. So instead of my relaxing read, I spent the afternoon in the kitchen. And I felt bitter. I wanted to be “normal”, I wanted to just buy a whole load of stuff to fill them up for the week and not even think about it. I wanted to be sitting around reading and enjoying some peace and quiet. So I huffed and puffed my way through a series of muffins and quiches and brownies and stock, wishing I could have been doing anything else but more food preparation.
Of course I do have a choice. Nobody has decreed that I MUST continue special diets for my family for the rest of time. I could choose to not do this any more and reclaim my right to read a book on Sunday afternoons. I could choose to load up the lunchboxes with processed foods that I know are not good for them so I get some “me” time.
Yeh right. As if.
As I fantasised about never having to worry about reading ingredient labels and cooking everything from scratch, I had a flashback to what my life was like when I did just that. It wasn’t pretty. In fact it was hell. It was full of days dealing with tantrums, diarrhea, screaming, not being able to go out anyway and seriously, did I ever have a chance to sit down and read a book when I had a horribly sick and out of control child? The reality was I struggled just to get through the day with my sanity intact and desperately trying to hold my family and my life together.
Would I risk slipping back to that in exchange for a few hours reading? Nope. Not for a second. But it doesn’t mean that I get excited about spending my spare time in the kitchen and it doesn’t mean that some of my dishes aren’t sprinkled with a little bit of bitterness every now and then when I’m tired and just want some space.
To get my mojo back , I think ahead to all of the long afternoons I’m going to have to read whatever I want, when Tim is out in the world living his best life. And then the prospect of whipping up another batch of muffins doesn’t sound so bad after all.
If you are ready to work with someone who’s been where you are now (and someone who’s not ever thrilled about more time in the kitchen) and radically transformed their child’s health, let me know. I have 4 spots left for the remainder of this year for committed families who want to dive into dietary intervention. You can email me to set up a time for a quick chat to see if I can help you.